I am in the same position. I am CTO of a startup in London. On paper, everything is wonderful. These past few months the company has quadrupled in size. We're in swanky offices. My commute is short - from the apartment that I own with my girlfriend who I love.
Anxiety is a constant demon hanging over me. I fell it every day. Not only that but feelings of deep self-loathing. Sometimes it paralyses me. I can't work for days on end, I can't face my colleagues. I go to the office, but am unproductive to the point of being entirely non-productive.
I make it up on other days, when I'm 'up'. But recently the periods of 'down' have been longer, harder, and seem unescapable. My up self is finding it harder to compensate.
I have to force myself to do the things I enjoy in my spare time. These days all I want to do when I get home is lose myself in pointless internet browsing. Imgur is a favourite - I'll swipe for hours through that dross.
I don't know where to go really. I've been in an ongoing battle with my mind since a severe bout of depression a few years ago. That unlocked a lot of stuff, and these days it's never as bad, but I'm aware of the fight every day, and it's exhausting.
I wish there was a way out, but there isn't. I'm going to be fighting this my entire life.
Plenty. I am on a tight sleep schedule, I sleep well mostly. I run 80-100 km a week. I don't meditate. I tried Headspace for a week, but it didn't do much for me.
Anxiety is a constant demon hanging over me. I fell it every day. Not only that but feelings of deep self-loathing. Sometimes it paralyses me. I can't work for days on end, I can't face my colleagues. I go to the office, but am unproductive to the point of being entirely non-productive.
I make it up on other days, when I'm 'up'. But recently the periods of 'down' have been longer, harder, and seem unescapable. My up self is finding it harder to compensate.
I have to force myself to do the things I enjoy in my spare time. These days all I want to do when I get home is lose myself in pointless internet browsing. Imgur is a favourite - I'll swipe for hours through that dross.
I don't know where to go really. I've been in an ongoing battle with my mind since a severe bout of depression a few years ago. That unlocked a lot of stuff, and these days it's never as bad, but I'm aware of the fight every day, and it's exhausting.
I wish there was a way out, but there isn't. I'm going to be fighting this my entire life.