> Baby carrots are not, in fact, small carrots

The ones I've gotten that still have the tops on them, and the outer skin, absolutely are; IME, what you are referring to are generally sold as “baby-cut” or “petit” carrots, rather than “baby" carrots.

I've heard this online a few times, but it doesn't gel with my experience shopping at all; I suppose it must be a regional thing.

In the UK the closest I've seen or heard of are both 'real' (whole) carrots:

Chantenay - https://www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/waitrose-chantenay-ca...

'Baby topped' - https://www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/waitrose-1-baby-toppe...

I remember a video of a processing plant that 'lathed down' regular carrots to make baby carrots. I always thought that's what they were. Since nobody buys big carrots any more, pretty much all carrots are made into baby carrots. Because they sell.

> Since nobody buys big carrots any more

What?! Citation sorely needed. I do, and in my experience 'big' (I would've said 'normal') carrots are stocked more abundantly than any other.

70% of carrot sales by some estimates. I googled around; here's a typical summary

http://www.carrotmuseum.co.uk/babycarrot.html

And these fake, shaped baby carrots are truly vile. No taste, disgusting texture.

I have an image in my mind of a carrot carved into the shape of a baby