I just want to hire someone who can demonstrate a level a little beyond competence in database programming, server programming, client-side (js, jquery, css) programming, and understands how the internet works. Most of those people already are gainfully employed. Oh yeah, and they have to be willing to come into our office to work and demonstrate to me they are willing to commit to learning our non-trivial application.

I have a degree in Comparative Literature (which is not an English degree, btw). I would consider someone with a serious music degree, maybe philosophy (e.g. PG). Most liberal arts majors are not cut out to be engineers.